Lollipop xoxo: I'm fine

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I'm fine


Hmm hey guys . Today , was awful . Just when i woke up from bed this morning , I straight away terfikir pasal dia . Saya ingat apa yang dia post , dia cakap capital V mahu jumpa dia di kk . Sebenarnya , semalam saya ada tanya dia pasal tu . Saya tidak bagitahu dia perkara sebenar . Saya tidak mahu dia jumpa tu perempuan . Saya risau , then saya teringat yang dia cakap form 4 maybe dia study di kk . Saya kecewa . Entah kenapa .... Bila saja dia text saya , saya tidak layan dia . Saya mahu bersendirian time tu . I just need a space for me . Tapi saya tidak bagitahu dia perkara sebenar kenapa saya buat macam tu . Lepastu , dia sakit hati . Dia bawa break up *cry. Tapi saya tidak terima , sebab saya cinta sangat sama dia . Only Jesus knows my true feelings for him . Dia bagi saya last chance , tapi sekarang kami tidak rapat sudah . I know this is my fault . I never should've care about my feelings . I should've care for his feelings . See , sebab saya peduli and layan feeling saya . Dia sakit hati . Setiap kali saya buat begitu sama semua orang , mesti diorang sakit hati . Kenapa ? Kenapa saya tidak boleh peduli and layan feeling saya ? am I destine to be like this ?  Hmp . I love everyone that is in my life . SAYA SANGGUP ! Saya sanggup sakit hati , patah hati , hancur hati daripada tengok diorang semua sakit hati . From this now day on , I promise myself to not care about my feelings anymore . Let people bullied it , crush it, knock it down . I don't mind . As long as they all are not hurt because of me .

and to you Mr.H , I'm really sorry . You must be tired and bored melayan perangai saya ni kan ? It's okay . It's my fault . You can hurt me , I let you to do so . Thanks by the way , eventhough we're still together and we're not that close anymore . I hope and pray that someday we'll be close again :' )

Bye.

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